New Blog

My new family blog! Check it out!

http://taylorresidence.blogspot.com/

Makes Me Love You More

Sometimes all you need is a good cry.
Sometimes all you need is a good cry in the arms of the person you love.
I find myself loving Chris more and more with each passing day.
I am so grateful I have such a trustworthy, understanding, and supportive man in my life.
I couldn't be happier.
He is a goofball sometimes, but he makes up for it when he talks me through a rough night.
I would go insane without him.
I love him.

When You Know, You Know

I think it only fitting I post, I haven't posted much in a long time and I apologize but I cannot promise I'll be better at it! I'm only going to be more stressed for the next 3-4 months :)
Why?
Well, as most of you already know I am ENGAGED to Chris W. Taylor, a.k.a. my Best Friend. CRAZY!
Everyone has been asking about the story of how we meet  and how he proposed... so, here it is :)

How We Meet;
   It was a Friday, there was an Institute Social that night at the ASU institute. I wasn't planning on going until I felt like I needed to go. So I sent my Friend Amber a message to see if I could tag along with her and Courtney, of course she said I could, so I got ready and left. We got there and just kind of mingled with some old friends and I ate some food, we played a board game and then we decided to dance! After a while we ended up dancing near this guy one of my friends knew, but there was a girl with him so I didn't push anything. But we continued to "Mormon Rave" anyway. It was so hot inside the gym, I left to get air, when I came back a slow song was on and so I sat down with my friends, I really just wanted to cool off. This guy shows up again but sits down next to me exclaimed that he wasn't going to dance unless someone asked him. So, I asked him. We danced to a few slow songs. While we were dancing and getting along so well, I turned to give my friends, The Nod. I knew this guy needed to go on a date with me. Before the night was through we exchanged numbers and planned a date for the NEXT NIGHT. The date went pretty much perfect, except for the fact he forgot to tell me to bring socks for Ice Skating. Haha oh well. He ended up kissing me in my kitchen later that night while we were making cookies and listening to our favorite music. I was ok with it. We hit it off. I knew this was going to go somewhere after a prefect date like that. We just clicked so well and I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't explain. That was the night we knew we were going to be with each other for eternity.

How He Proposed: 
  Wednesday September 5th after Institute Chris and I went out for desert and decided we wanted to enjoy it at the Temple. We finished pretty fast and was just walking around the Temple talking about life. Then Chris says, "Oh, I forgot to give you a note I wrote you for your birthday yesterday!" He hands me the note and I asked him if he wanted me to wait to read it and he very cool and calm said, "Nah, you can read it now." So I began to read it. It was sweet, a little cheesy, but it was just explaining how much he appreciated me and loves me and how I make him happy and blah blah... haha at the end there was Spanish or Portuguese (one of the two) and I laughed and told him he had to tell me what it said. So he giggled a little, reached in his pocket and knelt down on one knee and asked me to MARRY HIM!!  And I said yes :)

He is such a goofball, but he is amazing. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it and I honestly don't know where I would be today without him. So yes, it's been two weeks since our first date, but we knew right away that we were to be each others "Other Half". I didn't know I could ever have this much love and appreciation for another person outside of my family, let alone a man. I love him and cannot wait to spend eternity with him!

Baby

\\

Henry Spencer Staples :)

I want one of my own. 

Miss Audrey Hepburn

A Child's Prayer

No matter how hard any member of a family works,

fate will always step in

and some families were never meant to be together forever.

It's the ultimate test of love, communication, trust, respect, forgiveness, understanding and strength.

But, you know, some people aren't that great when it comes to test taking. 

Families can be together forever, but that doesn't mean they will.

Learning For Myself

“Be yourself, love you for who you are! If you don’t love yourself, changes should be made. Change what you don’t love; change yourself into someone you love. Then only can you achieve happiness.” 


- Me 

Kelly Clarkson

I wanna see Kelly in concert so bad!!
In fact;I intend to see her, no one can stop me. Haha

OH! btw, I'm seeing DEMI again in like 3 DAYSSS!!!! Can't wait!
...

...

...

Ok.. I'm done :)

Demi Lovato Concert

Concert Pictures :)
Just a few;

Me and Jennie

 You should know who this is ;)

During "Did You Forget"
This song makes me emotional too

During "My Love's Like a Star"

SO basically, the concert was amazing and she did SOO freaking good! She was definatly blessed with a voice for a reason, she's inspirational, confidant and is easy to relate to :) 

I can't wait to see her again in July!! 

I don't know what to do with my life. It's official. 

Everything I want or need to do isn't attainable, everything in consideration isn't really right for me, and everything I'm good at I don't want to do. 

Kelly Clarkson

Late Late Nights

Been up late like every night the past few months. Been real emotional too. I think I've done a pretty good job of hiding it though. But right now, I think I may just need to start talking to someone.
On a more positive note, I have enough to buy my brothers car!

Up Late

Sometimes I feel like I was the only one in my family born with emotions and feelings. And if I show any sign of emotion they jump on it and tell me to grow up, suck it up, or they ignore me all together. Thankss, not that life is hard already.
Sorry, up late and needed to rant. Maybe I'll be able to sleep now :)

Look For the Girl With the Broken Smile

Love this song. I tear up almost every time I hear it. I put the lyric video instead of the Music Video because it's hard to hear the words when your paying attention to the things in the video.  

I love music. 

<3

What the Buck

Um.. I'm working LOTS and sleeping not lots and haven't gone running in like a week :/ 

SO!!! After tomorrow, maybe, I'm going to get back on that pavement with my runnin' shoes on and trying to go to bed earlier. 

OH!! I got a NEW phone kinda. Haha my old phone story; the touch screen quit working so I took it to Verizon... they said they would send me a "like-new" phone in the next day or two. Yeah... that was Thursday so I was expecting it by Saturday at the latest. It didn't come till Monday. THEN I went back to have them switch everything over but their system was down... nationwide. So i waited till midnight, got online to their website an kept refreshing the page till 12:09 when their system was finally running again. SO I went without a working phone for like 5 days. It was the LONGEST 5 days of my life. 

But nonetheless I got my phone and I am happy about having a working phone again :) 

Um I wish I had pictures to upload so this wasn't really boring BUT I also wish I could sing and that ain't happening so.. I guess this is it. Haha 

Oh bt-dubs have you ever seen What the Buck on Youtube?! Hilarious!! (not every episode is good or appropriate so I just pick and choose which ones  I wanna see. BUT it's so funny. 

Oh and Demi Lovato won Favorite Pop Artist of the Year!! What now?! Ha! 

Which takes me back to I wish I could sing. 

Well, that's all for now. Have a good night!!! :) 

I Just Am

People have asked me in past, "Why are you down?"
Sometimes I feel like I get this question a lot.... SO here I am to clarify..
I'M NOT DOWN!!! Most of the time people see me while I am deep in thought, and I can make some pretty weird faces while I'm thinking. Haha!
Honestly though, my thinking face (and my normal face for that matter) can seem to look like I'm upset at something. But, I'M NOT!! Haha
Like I've stated before;

I am me.
I like me (well, I'm getting there)
I'm not changing me.
If you don't like me.. that's too bad..
Your missing out.

Haha well, now that that is cleared up..
What's new?!
I have listening to lots of music when I get the chance. I have found it to be very therapeutic for me, I've even been drawing, running and playing some piano. It's nice to be (almost) back to where I was when I was happiest.

I've also been working a lot!! Subway is transferring me to a different store, and I am STILL waiting for a promotion at Justice. But I am staying positive about it and convincing myself that it will come soon and I am becoming a better employee while I patiently wait my turn.

 I am hoping to buy a car soooooon!!! Like, really soon. Another thing that has become therapeutic is driving. It's nice to get away from everything and anything and just drive. Windows down, music up load and jamming.

Also, I'm not in school this semester. Hopefully I will be this coming fall! I just really want to focus on other things that I think are more important.... I know... "What?! Education is the most important thing like EVER!!" But everyone has different perspectives on things so you shouldn't judge mine.

Hmm... I think that about wraps it up.. my room is still messy, I still have lots of laundry to do and I STILL am obsessed with nail polish and country music haha the others not so much. Ha and I like  never sleep, but I guess that's not new either. I always thought I'd get MORE sleep after HS... but I was wrong. STILL can't sleep. BUT some nights I do sleep... and I do for a LOOOONG time. I love it when that happens.... but my family? Not so much. Haha

What I'm looking forward?!
Almost forgot... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Haha
It's 2012. Weird.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to growing up a little more this year with new experiences and new adventures. Every year holds something new and unexpected. So here is to New and Unexpected.
This year I really want to focus on my happiness and do what I feel is best for me, I always talk about it but I REALLY want to act on it now. I feel like I know what makes me happy now from the past few months and now I can focus on that. Maybe meet someone new? Haha
I want to get back into reading. I feel like I haven't read a book (other than a textbook) in ages! And I want to work on budgeting my money better (not as many Buckle jeans for me).
And of course there is always the I wanna run more and work out more. Haha which I started back in mid December and is going pretty great so far! Also this year, I really want to strive to reach some dreams of mine.. some are really silly, but I'm feeling confident about it.

So I guess that is it for now! Haha
Hopefully I'll have some pictures in my next post.. my camera has been dead for a little while.. :/

For The Love of a Daughter

Such a powerful song.

3 Birds With One Stone

It's times like these where feelings fester inside and there is no way I want them to get out; not all at once anyway. All at once is just bad. I've helped myself in a few ways the past few years, I've learned new things about myself, and developed some good habits and some not so good habits.
This past year has been so hard since my family moved; turns out I was letting feelings fester inside. BUT one thing I've learned is that I like to cuddle up and watch a movie to make me feel better. A bad habit I will admit to is where I would cuddle up and watch a movie that wasn't the best choice, depending on why I was feeling down. It not only was a sad movie but also one that wasn't encouraging in good ways (don't worry, there was no porn involved). One night I decided to watch a movie that would ACTUALLY make me feel better instead of fake better. After the movie, I felt very confident of myself and felt better towards life in general. Thus, I dropped my old habit and formed a new one.
A few weeks back, my Human Development teacher instructed each student to write a research paper on a social issue in any age group. Naturally, everyone picked obesity or child abuse. I picked Bullying. Mainly focusing on teens in middle school/ high school age group but also touched on elementary. It's a very broad topic to cover but I narrowed mine down to the effects bullying has on children and what motivates bullies. This was probably my most favorite paper to write (and I never say that). When everyone presented their papers to the class, mainly through a Power Point or just reading bullet points from their paper; I presented mine with a short video of Demi Lovato ( I look up to her for her courage, strength, and confidence) explaining her struggles with bullying and the lasting effects it had on her and still has on her. I shared some facts and ended my presentation. Walking out, another student in my class asked why I didn't share a personal experience like the rest of the class did. We joked about it and went our separate ways. Truth is, I was too scared. I thought about sharing one at the end but when the short video ended I was on the verge of tears, so I didn't.
Now, what do these two things have in common? I watched a movie tonight(I know it's late and my mom will probably be a little upset because she'll probably have a hard time getting me out of bed in a few hours, but it was worth it I think). I watched a movie; It's a cheesy movie but I'm not going to lie; I cried. It had a good message to it. A girl in high school was cyber bullied so bad she tried to kill herself; she ended up missing I think, a month or so of school to get help. Her parents were also recently divorced, which doesn't help but her mom was really good about sticking with her and really focusing on her daughters needs through this rough time. She got through it all and in the end stood up to the bullies. It was a good message.
I too experienced some bullying, not cyber bullying, but normal bullying in elementary and junior high. I was fortunate to have good friends and family through those times. But it was in high school when I lost everything I had. Or everything I thought i had I guess. Turns out, friends were lying, faking, being rude and it was humiliating to me. I lost all my close friends. Then to top it off, I moved. Haha seems silly now that I look back on it; I should have seen it coming, it could have been avoided. But what isn't funny is that I felt horrible about myself, I wanted to bring others down with me. I was turning into the bully that I hated, which made me not like me even more. I don't know why. I'm doing better now I suppose, haha with my new habits I've got going. I work lots and I am enjoying school! I paint my nails, listen to LOTS of music and watch movies ;) I don't ignore it I just check myself every now and then and make sure I'm doing ok. Just be sure to keep an eye out for younger sibs, close friends and other family memebers that may be experiencing similar things; it's not a fun ride.
Anyway, I just really needed to get that out of my system. BUT, I'm really excited for Christmas this year. I'm getting gifts for everyone and I'm trying to be good about it. Get things that my siblings will actually use. Haha! Which is hard for my older siblings, cause if they need something, they just go get it.. haha they should keep in consideration that Christmas is coming up ;)
Anywho, just wanted to drop in and say, Don't Hate, Merry Christmas and give someone a hug today or at least a smile. There is probably nothing more I love right now then to see a person smile back at me , it makes me feel good.
Haha so yeah... there's my update! :)

New Obsessions

1.Nail polish. Well, this one isn't really new but I am trying different kinds of polish rather than my usual... I can't wait for everyone to see what I am putting on in the morning!

2.Pinterest. Such a cute site, full of ideas, good use of time... well, better than FB!

3.Hair. Figuring out how to manage with my now thin hair, going from working in fashion to working at a food joint there aren't that many options... BUT I am figuring it out.

4.Jennette McCurdy. New found country artist, she only has like 3 songs out right now but she is AMAZING.

5.(speaking of which) Country Music. I used to listen to country a lot in Junior high and a little in High School but slowly got away from it.. but Robert helped bring me back and I am addicted. 

6.Jeans. I bought ANOTHER pair of Buckle jeans... I'm afraid I'm never going to have enough for a car if I keep going back in that store... 

7.Sleep. When I get the chance.

8. Driving with my favorite music playing. Ok this one isn't new either but I had to keep it on my list.

I think that's all for right now... but if I think of anymore I'm sure I'll post them :) 

Night!

Follow Up

Friday!!!
I went to the Mesa Vs Mountain View game! And.... Mountain View creamed Mesa.. oh well. Haha either way I wouldn't have been disappointed. BUT after posting a picture of me wearing a Mesa shirt... I was a little sad, especially cause my siblings got all over me for wearing it THEN proceeded to make fun of me because they lost. Yeah, great night.

Saturday!!
I started my other job at Subway and can I just say that I had an amazing first day! You wouldn't have thought it was my first day if you came in to get a sandwich. Also, I went to the 13th floor with 3of my friends and peed my pants it was so scary.. and really embarrassing. One of my friends didn't even get scared, she is insane!!

Sunday!!
I taught in Nursery again AND the A/C wasn't working AND we had 13 kids... it was crazy hot all the little kids were getting tired, hot and cranky.. BUT they are way too cute :)

Monday!!
I had school then the trunk or treat for our ward, then I went to the mall and bought more jeans (you can never have too many) then I went home and had the flu for the next 24 hours :/

Tuesday!!
Called in sick at both jobs and spent the day in bed sipping on Powerade, nibbling on Wheat Thin Stix and watching lots of movies.

Today!!!
School and WORK!!! Took a test in Human Development which I feel better about compared to my last test. This time I knew what to expect. Then got outta there early so.... I went to Target and bought the new JB CHRISTMAS CD!!! It's a good one two!! His voice sounds manlier now. Loveit. I seriously almost bought Kelly Clarksons new album, Scotty Mcreery's new album AND Katy Perry's old album AND Christina Perry's old album. Oh and I looked into getting all the Glee music. I miss it so much... I can't believe I lost EVERY SONG!!! Drives me crazy sometimes. OH Which reminds me... GLEE WAS FINALLY ON THIS WEEK!!! I watched it today cause I missed it last night and I thought it was really good! They did Last Friday Night by Katy Perry... (love Blain in this song) this episode also has a lot of foreshadowing. So excited for the rest of the season!!!! :D

Well... that is all, maybe pictures of some kind next time.... or an exciting story.
Night :)

Busy Busy Mee

So... I haven't posted in a while. I've been little miss Busy Bee.. last time I posted I was overnight nannying for a few days.
Hmmm... let's see what is new..?

I'm going to the 13th Floor on Saturday with some friends and family. It is the scariest haunted house in Arizona (so I am told) I hope they stay true to what they say!

I watched my brothers play indoor soccer for the first time last night.. it was awesome! I miss it so much.

My sister-in-law Emily is due to pop In like 2 to 3 weeks!! It's a BOY! They are thinking of naming him Maxwell! CUTE!!!

I stood in line for over a half hour outside some ladies house to purchase eleven DISCOUNTED tickets to see BREAKING DAWN at 8pm on the 17th (BEFORE IT COMES OUT!!!!)

School is going......
Institute is the bomb except Bro. P thinks it's funny to talk in Spanish cause he knows I hate it.

I switched banks and got a CREDIT CARD!!

Speaking of which.. I will use to buy Dickies for my NEW JOB!!! I got a second job at Subway like 2 seconds from my house. I am (or shortly will be) a sandwich artist. My manager wants to have me all trained by TUESDAY (she's insane.) I have to wear a smelly uniform which includes; a visor, an apron (smashing), a Subway shirt, black Dickies and black tennis shoes.

I still work at Justice, a lot actually.

Tonight I dressed up as an Angry Bird for my sister's school Fall Festival.
It was really lame and not fun. Except when we snuck over to Brimhall and got 50 cent Cotton Candy.Yum!

I'm still in Nursery and teach.. a lot. The other teachers seem to be bailing on me lately.

And I think that is it for now...
Thanks for reading! Sorry there are no pictures, I haven't had time.. And having 2 jobs and going to school I don't think I'm going to have a lot of time.
Goodnight! ;)

oh... and Mountain View plays Mesa High tomorrow night in football... this should be good.

Soccer

There is nothing like;
The smell of worn out grass and sweat,
The chill feeling of the air,
The rush of each breakaway,
The feeling of the ball under you feet,
The Jersey just moving with your body.
And the sore muscles.

Sitting here watching my cousins game makes me wanna play.

Man I'm missing soccer a lot tonight.

U-Turn

I've had this quote stuck in my mind for some time now 

and being me I always try to push it aside and say it has nothing to do with me... BUT sometimes

 I don't even like my stubborn and unwilling self. (If your friends with me on FB then you know what quote I'm talking about.) ANYWAY, I'm taking that U-Turn... I have been trying to fix a few things that I am unhappy with in my life and be a better person. So far it's gotten me... well, nothing really but mentally I see things different and am starting to enjoy life rather than just enduring it and settle for less than I know what is best for me. It's a good feeling so far, I'm just a little fragile still. Haha It's been hard but I know what I am doing is right. And I love that I can become close with people that care and know what is right for me because sometimes I don't see myself like others see me. So thank you. 

Pathway

This is the most bumpiest,
This is the most crooked,
This is the most muddy,
This is the most ugliest,
This is the most horrifying pathway.
But,
It leads to The Pathway I want to take.

Secret #31

Every time, without fail, I start feeling better, someone always brings me down.
Every time, if something starts to make me feel happy, there is someone, almost waiting on cue, making sure I feel terrible. Like I don't deserve to be happy.
Every time.
Without fail.

I like this feeling of being happy :)

Watch "David Archuleta singing Things Are Gonna Get Better-Patio Party S.Jordan UT" on YouTube

Collllllege

So far passing all my classes! All 2 of them. Ha
Got 100% on both Human Development papers from last week! Which means I have an A! Wednesday, we had a test in Sign Language.... YIKES!! I was a little nervous. Mr. Rice is gave us a prompt and we had to tell a story with placement of items in a room and all those dumb details. BUT! I got 100% :)
Birthday weekend was pretty good. I shopped Monday AND Tuesday. It was fabulous.... But other than shopping, nothing special.
Well, this is all for now.

#LoveisLouder

Demi Lovato and Seventeen Magazine have teamed up with the Jude foundation to bring in the Love is Louder campaign.

What is Love is Louder?

#LoveisLouder then the Pressure to be Perfect -Demi Lovato

#LoveisLouder than being torn down for being different -Shumi Naj

#LoveisLouder than any addiction -Nathin Allen

#LoveisLouder than self harm -Mariana Gutierrez

loveISlouder

Love is Louder was started by actress Brittany Snow,the Jude Foundation and MTV to build on the outpouring of support online after the lives of multiple teenagers were lost to suicide in September 2010. This movement strives to amplify the momentum of other inspiring online campaigns and invite anyone who has felt mistreated, misunderstood or isolated into the conversation. We are here to raise the volume around a critical message -- that love and support is more powerful than the external and internal voices that bring us down, cause us pain and make us feel hopeless.

The more voices that join the movement, the louder the message becomes.

Tweet #LoveisLouder then____________

to join the movement.

Edits

Before..
After...

Another Weekend

Nannying,

Almost done.

g'night.

A Child's Prayer

Watch "A Child's Prayer by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (lyrics in description)" on YouTube

Love this song.

Oh Hello College

It's almost 4am and I just finished my Human Development homework...

That was a LOOOOONG 5 hours I just spend doing that..

Oh! And I set up my lab thing on my computer and am currently raising a baby in my lab. Awkward.

I'm loving school, but the homework... eh not so much.

I still need to set up my engrade for Sign III BUT I must talk to the professor first about a code.

Tomorrow is another day, official 2nd day of school.

It feels weird to be back in school. But it doesn't feel like school.

I haven't determined what it feels like yet but when I do.. I'll let you know!

Nursery

Starting to see the blessings of my Nursery Calling.Today, we had 10 kids. TEN!!! AHHH!! It was crazy.. BUT it was really fun :)

They always have and hopefully continue to put a smile on my face :)

Side note: I made a most delicious smoothie on Friday! Cut my finger open in the process, but it turned out to be worth it. Ha

AND helped my sister move apartments Friday night/Saturday morning then took on a 5 1/2 hour shift at work to then go throw a surprise party for my friend Devery.

NOW school is beginning tomorrow... and no books yet. Ha yikes!!!

Other than that things are.... actually getting a little better. Still a little down

but really trying to focus on the

things that make me happy.

No Obsession

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_8ydghbGSg&ob=av2e

Skyscraper- Demi Lovato

17 Years Ago Today

First of all, sorry the picture isn't edited...

Second of all, this girl with me in this picture, this beautiful girl, is like my favorite thing alive right now...

This is Devery. Today is Devery's birthday.. her 17th :)

For those of you who do not know Devery, she is........ ha Devery.

She is always so much fun to be around; she has this positive, bubbly energy that she can't help but share it. I just hope she knows how much she means to me and everyone around her. And I can't wait till Saturday.... I m taking Miss Devery out to dinner, for her birthday present ;) Pictures to come? I hope so!

Side note; for those of you who left me a message from last nights post, thank you thank you. Maybe I'll open up a little later, it's really starting to bite me in the butt and effect my life... I just don't know how else to over come it. But, thank you everyone for the love :)

Weekend

Wow. What a weekend... i didn't sleep, didn't really eat much, still have a nasty cold thing... but hopefully things will start turning around for me!

Funny when a person says they go through something personal and people either dig in to it way to much and judge that person or read into it and really care and want to help. Which are you? Cause I'm kind of self battling a few things and i just want to be accepted for me and not by the things that i go through. Does that make sense?

For the past few weeks i have been reading into some people who have battled similar things; how they pushed through and how they made it to where they are today. One thing that helped them to over come their personal issue was to open up and talk to people about it.

I have been trying to write something down on my blog all day, get it all out of my system, but I just am at loss of words. I don't know if that means I should wait until I feel comfortable (that may take awhile) or just step outside of my comfort zone and talk about it. I don't normally REALLY open up to people unless i feel comfortable with that person. But I guess I could us all the help I could get. So I guess I write this post to ask for help.

What do you think I should do?

But honestly, I'm not down with people just wanting to judge me or talk about me behind my back. I want all of you to understand that this is a difficult thing for me to do and I am really looking for some support and advice. I am really seeking some help. I haven't talked to anyone about this before so I'm kind of new at this...

Feed back would be great! Thanks everyone for reading... it really means a lot!

Sleep

Can't sleep. Again.

Too much on the brain.

it sucks.

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day.  -Elwyn Brooks White

New Song

Watch "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing- Cherish Ross (cover) - Arranged by Sally Deford" on YouTube

I've been learning this song on the piano and i think it is my favorite to learn so far...

Bad Times Can Be Good

I found this quote...

‎"When something bad happens, you have 3 choices; you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.."

I LOVE this quote...

I am doing my best to apply this quote...

Kind of Personal

I have fallen. And pretty hard.

I am totally and completely in love with my sweet sweet Cameron.

We tried being apart for a while and it only made us both realize how much we truly do love each other. I can't imagine my life without him in it.

He is the most amazing thing to ever bless my life, and I cannot thank my Heavenly Father enough for everything that Cameron is.

I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world.

August

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

ok. I'm good.

It's August. School starts in 3 weeks...

Hmm.. good thing I have it ALL figured out.

Lucky for me I'm only paying about 500 bucks to go to school this semester.

Ha! Good thing I make SUCH great money..

Well, that is all for now..

I don't have any good pictures to upload right now cause I have currently discovered that my beautiful folder of my wonderful creations has gone missing.

So.. have a good night :)

Can't Wait

Check this out.. I'm just getting super excited to teaching..

http://heymissat.tumblr.com/

It just cracks me up every time...

Me Likey

Not gonna lie; It's been a rough week... I'm just doing my best to putter along and be happy and "go with the flow" of things. Tonight really made me smile.. a little.

An old friend of mine sent me a chat message on fb tonight and told me she was going to miss me at school this coming year! Then she proceeded to tell me why. She did a really good job at cheering me up! Ha. Some of the character traits she listed off kind of surprised me... but nonetheless it made me happy to know some people out there still think of me as a good person and I'm happy to know that people still love me for me :)

ON a happier note...

I'm ALMOST ready for school this fall. Just need to sign up for one more class AND make a few more phone calls.

Well, work work and MORE work this week!!! So... have a GREAT week everyone ;)

School

Yes... summer is sadly ending. Its coming to a close...
I'm not too sad, its not like my summer was amazing. It was just fun while it lasted.
Today, I'm getting all signed up for classes at MCC.
Hmmm.... English, math, sign language 3 maybe even 4! and all the other required classes like science and whatever.
Regardless, I'm excited to get started. The closer I am to finishing the closer i am to teaching.
I really want to cross more off my list.. I did the most i could this summer, now i want to progress.
Funny things about a list like mine... Its always changing. Not like I'm changing my mind but because my desires are changing. My goals, dreams and other stuff change based on me.
So this list I have tucked away isnt really tucked away but out in the open written in pencile..almost wanting to be altered.
Anyway, I'm excited to start school :)

H.P.

I have a Harry Potter wand... and I love it. I think I'll watch Harry Potter now :)
Starting with number one!
Have a happy spell casting day! :D

Secrets

It's a funny concept. But truth is, everyone has at least one..

A secret can be formulated from anything.

"Secrets don't make friends but friends make secrets."

"To know that one has a secret is to know half the secret itself."

But

"Your secret is your prisoner; once you reveal it, you become its slave."

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Wonder as I Wander

I think it's hit me. A little anyway... we'll see.

Sometimes I like being alone and sometimes I hate being alone.

(and hate is a strong word, for me)

I like thinking out load, kind of similar to talking to myself but, it actually means something. It helps me think clearer, memorize things, and sometimes even bring things to my remembrance. It just all around helps me. Although it has been known to "hurt" me.

Sometimes I think too much... and I over think, over analyze and over judge things. It kind of sucks. I'm getting better at telling myself to shut up. But I'm using "getting better" loosely.

Don't get me wrong, it's not drugs or rated R movies that I'm over thinking.. its just life.

Please refrain from laughing at me, thanks.

I don't like life sometimes, and its always nice to have someone to share it with, someone to talk to, someone to laugh with and someone that cares. That is what makes my life bearable.

(that and California)

This is why I don't like being alone.

But sometimes I like being alone. But only sometimes and not for long..

I like thinking about things clearly and reasonably.

I like being myself, I like crying when I feel like crying and I like laughing like crazy when I feel like dying with laughter. Why?

Cause I'm crazy.

No, I don't know. Maybe its like a security blanket for me. Or maybe its just how I cope.

I don't know. But it helps.

I like the feeling of knowing that someone cares. I like the feeling of knowing that I can be myself and someone cares. I like being with people that care and I like being with people that I care about.

The Eye for an Eye method doesn't have to be negative... it just needs to be demonstrated properly. Almost like the Golden Rule but on steroids.

If a person were to be nice, why be rude back? And if you were to be nice, what gives them a reason to be rude back. Make sense? Didn't think so.

Everyone has that little devil on their shoulder, its just human. But whether they choose to listen to it or not is agency.

Confused yet? It's ok... I'm just thinking out loud.

I think that I think backward, or at least different than most people.

I like looking at things from a different perspective, you know, without all the sugar coating and without all the negativity. Just sort of.. neutral. I guess that could be it. But obviously not for everything.

Ha I know not too many people read this, it just started out as kind of a record keeper for me. Something I could go to to....think out loud. But not a Diary or a Journal.

Just something to keep myself sane I guess.

When I'm alone, I like to write. I'm not good or anything, but it gets my feelings out through a different character, a different out look. And I like to sing. I turn on music and sing along to whatever I feel like. Sometimes I sing in front of the mirror with a huge smile on my face.

And boy does it feel good to be alone.

I like being with people.

I like driving around in the car with the windows down (only when the weather is nice) and blasting music and just having fun.

I like driving around with the music playing softly in the background while I talk with whoever happens to be with me.

And, I like driving around with no music.

When I'm alone. I like to write, blogging included.

This is all scatterbrained, but it comforts me to know that I'm still thinking and that I'm still here.

I'm so grateful that I have so many good friends and family that surround me. And if your reading this.. that must mean your one of them because there are only 2 reasons why someone would read my blog.... :)

If Only This Wand Were Real

Sometimes I find myself talking to people and it seems like they aren't listening.

Is the topic boring? Do you really not care that much? Or are there more important things?

If so... just tell me right off the bat. Cause.. it's getting old really fast.

Soon, one day, I hope to talk and be heard. It's a better feeling than being ignored or neglected.

If your reading this and you don't ignore me, or zone out when I talk.... then you must like me at least a little. So thank you.. it means a lot :)

I Did It

I bought the Droid X2....

I'm loving it so far, just have to get used to it being so big

and

the fact that it can (and does) out smart me... ha!

Girls

Walked through the family room this morning and heard what my sister was watching on tv. It made me laugh..looks like Disney channel is finally figuring things out..

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Follow-up

I miss it already..

Grateful

I'm so grateful for the job that I have.

I'm so grateful for the trust my boss has in me.

I'm so grateful that she has a heart and makes work bearable.

I'm so grateful that when I ask for the weekend off on such short notice...she says it's no big deal.

I'm so grateful for cars.

I'm so grateful that gas prices have come down a little.

I'm so grateful that I can drive 6 hours to pure paradise.

I'm so grateful for the beach.

I'm so grateful for the temperatures in Cali this weekend.

I'm so grateful for my family that lives in Cali that invited us to come

I'm so grateful I can get away and just relax this weekend.

I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has created a place for me to escape to.

I'm just so grateful :)

I know.... I just know :)

Being Under His Refuge

I found this post while I was surfing blogs tonight and I think I'd like to share it with everyone... I really do enjoy this..and the best part is that I'm quoting the blogger, not a quote that she quoted.. this is in her own words.

"...It has been difficult for me on some levels but GOD is teaching me some important truths that I so need to know and learn right now. I was thinking this morning about my relationship with him..you know how girls are so analytical sometimes...I accepted Jesus as my LORD and Saviour back when I was a child but I would say the itimacy with him has been over the last 15 years or so. It has gone beyond John 3:16 but its been about real life, real faith, and trusting in him beyond what I can see. Life, my friends is so hard sometimes. Sometimes all that I can do is just say I can't do this LORD but you can. I don't have the energy to fake it and LORD you must carry me. Well that is what he wants to get us all to. To total 100% faith and trust in him. Not based on what we feel but on who I know that he is. To really know someone you have to live life with them. Its beyond so how are you, etc..But its real life. For me and the LORD its in the middle of the night that we have our best times and conversations. Its probably because I'm the most vulnerable and nothing can distract me..So that is what I hold on to no matter what I'm going thru or living my life is that GOD is always there."

I think this is definatly something everone could work twords, no matter how close you feel to Him... you can always become closer.

Here is her blog if you want to check out some of her other posts.. it's been a delight to read :)

http://godalonewillfillthoseemptyplaces.blogspot.com/?expref=next-blog

She isn't a member of our faith but I'm sure if the right people knocked on her door..something great could happen for her and her family.

...Hair...

I cut it :)

My sister is getting married.

Today Was THE Day

YES!!! It's true!!! I finally got my butt out of bed and I went running! :D

It felt SOO good to finally get out of the house and go do a little exercising!

It was a little short today because I need to get back into it.. but it really did feel amazing to finally do that. Now!! I just need to go like everyday :) and then my goal this summer can be complete!

Now.... I need to start my other goal while this one is in progress ..... hmm I need to gain my tan back! Yeah.. the tan I had sophomore year during soccer.

This is what I want to get back too!! I know it's hard to see.. but I was dark ;)

It's a shame I don't play anymore and a BIGGER shame it's getting hot out cause now

I want to spend less time outside. Hmm this could be a challenge... any suggestions? And no I'm not down with going to a tanning salon ;)

Well, I'm just glad things are finally starting to work out! Tomorrow I'm going on another picnic with The Boy... except this time... we're having something other than fast food... haha regardless... I'm excited!

College

ASU is a no go. Yup, it's true I got my rejection letter in the mail the other day and wanted to cry (but didn't). Yeah, MCC will be fine but it just means I'm going to be going to school a lot longer than I wanted. Because, after I get all my generals out of the way THEN I have to transfer (or try at least) to ASU to do my teaching program and that alone can take FOREVER!!! then I will proceed to find a teaching job. BUT before I get ahead of myself... I love the job I have now, it just doesn't pay enough... WELL, until I FINALLY finish college, this is where I am at :)

(I'm still keeping the shirt).

Wishing

It's days like today that make me hate summer and wish I was back in school.. at least then I'll have something to do all day. Basically, I woke up at 11, sat around and watched tv till I fell asleep then i had dinner, then I watched more tv. I did go to Costco with my dad and sister for like an hour but that doesn't count..

Did not like today.

Is It Over?

I just received word that my manager had her baby!! Finally, she says..

Can I breath now? Haha I'm going to miss her at work for a couple weeks but I'm glad that I don't have to freak anymore :)

Anyway her baby is adorable! I just know she'll be a good mommy!

This makes TWO babies born this week!

Sorry I didn't mention before.. my sister-in-law Carly had her baby boy this week as well! He is just as adorable as his big brother. Haha I just LOVE babies and I can't (but will) wait for my own!!

The Same Ol' Annie

So right at this very moment I am feeling about 30 different feelings... bipolar? Nope! Just going crazy. The thing that bugs me the most right now is the fact that I can't post what I'm feeling... Why? Because people that read my blog like to judge me. Why do I care? Cause I am tired of getting my feelings hurt for who I am. I know it seems childish, but I guess I'm not privileged with the ability to let things go easily. Words stick to me and harden like cement. Its hard to let them go. So what now? I keep it bottled inside.

Crossing More Off My List of To dos..

And my summer is JUST getting started :)

Today; Devery, Jennie, and I played in the water fountain thingy at Riverview ( can cross that off), then got Yodipity and then proceeded to make this trip complete with Bass Pro shop's pointless but always fun wandering. Aww... but this is only today. Another goal of mine this summer is to plan something for everyday of summer (and yes PLANNING on organizing my room is on the list.) And for all of you interested in knowing how my cooking is coming along... I have successfully made ham sandwiches and fruit salad for two without hurting myself or terribly messing it up(crossing that off)! Haha ok ok so it's not LEGIT but it's a step up. We'll see how Sunday goes.. maybe mom will let me cook.

Well, this is all for now. Goodnight lovelys :)

Music Here

Music really hasn't failed me yet. I've been trying to decide on a couple things these past few weeks and this great combination of prayer, fasting and music has really helped. I love putting my iPod on shuffle and see what comes next... and so far it's just what I need to hear. A combination of David Archuleta, Rascal Flatts, and Taylor Swift has been perfect. No, some people will not like decisions or tell me I am stupid but I know what I am doing is not wrong, it's what I have felt inspired to do or simply really good about. So if anyone in my family reads this... please.. toning down the rude comments would be great. Thanks.

today:

So.. this is Cameron :)

We like to eat Arby's at the park and draw pretty pictures on the sidewalk.

(well that was just today)

After the Fact

So I'm done. I'll miss it...

It will probably hit me more when the Fall comes and other things start falling in place but until then... I'm making some goals.

Well, first... let's get girls camp out of the way. Girls camp is this week; form

Wednesday to Saturday. It will be different than from past years for 2 reasons.. 1) I'm going as a Leader and 2) I'm going with a different stake! I'd say its pretty stressful but nothing compared to school. Ha! But I'm excited regardless.

Some other goals of mine are to start running again, read more books, properly prepare for college this fall AND yes.... learn a thing or two about cooking. Shocking I know. But honestly I hate when people push me to do things I REALLY don't want to do. This decision was mine and MINE alone. I'm going to teach myself to cook when no one is around to laugh at me or tease me. This way I'll feel better about learning on my own. Something (if anything) that I have taken from high school is that I learn best when I teach myself. I watch then try... like learning from experience. So don't push me.. or I may just give up and cry. I know I'm a big crier and I've learned to embrace it. I hate stress and I hate when people tell me what to do when I already know what to do. And I hate when plans get cancelled.

Anyway.. I'm learning to love myself more rather than let others tear me down. No one deserves it. But I think this is all I've figured for this summer... I'll most likely update when I've decided on more.. and yes. I'll blog about camp and Cameron soon :)

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day.

Tomorrow I graduate from high school.

Tomorrow I party.

Tomorrow I move on in life.

Tomorrow I begin taking different strides.

Tomorrow I leave high school behind to create new experiences and meet new people.

Tomorrow I will lounge around until I need to get ready to walk.

Tomorrow I will begin missing the moments I will never get back, but will never regret.

Tomorrow will be epic.

ok... so not all of that will happen tomorrow but it will be the first step in almost all of those. I can't wait. This whole graduating and moving on thing is a little weird and difficult to grasp. I know I'll get over it but I guess until then I'll just tear up every time someone brings up the fact that I very well may never see most of these people again. why? Most of the people I have associated with have had some kind of impact in my life... most of the time they don't know it. I'm going to miss it. But looking forward into the future, I know there will be different types of experiences and opportunities for me to learn and grow from. I can't wait.

So tomorrow begins my journey for the rest of my life.

Ready...? Set...? Go.

Seni0r Highlights

(for the record.. I've gotten so bad at taking pictures lately. Sorry)

"Love, Laughter and Legends"

For the Rock 'N Roll Revue (choir concert) this year my choir (Bravo) and Men's Chorus MIXED and did a Beatles Medley. Unfortunately the video my dad recorded wont upload. So I guess if you wanted to see it.. you should have gone. It was really fun, crazy and I loved having so much support this year from family, friends, and ward members. It means a lot to me to have people that I love surround me and support me in doing something I love. It's a great feeling :)

Sadly, I only took one picture... because I thought I was uploading the video but it can't so... now here we are.

This is the ONLY picture I took and I want to share it with you because I love this girl so much. She is so amazing, and hilarious, and a really great friend! And I will most likely be naming one of my daughters after her because her name is just gorgeous! I promise she really isn't that creepy. Lol We were just... messing around. Haha!! She is adorable none the less.

On a second note... I finally completed my online class like a week ago. I passed with an A and an 83% on my final! Yay! I also finally finished my graduation announcements! People have had mixed feelings about it. Haha So here she is;

Well, I've got less than a week left of school and I am stressed to the T. Lets just say I'm looking forward to some sleep, friend time, and FOOD!!!! Haha Well, this is it for now. Have a beautiful weekend and I probably wont blog till after graduation so... haha see ya :)

stressed.

Easter Weekend

Well I wont say it was a productive weekend but I will say it was a wonderful, relaxing, calm Easter Weekend. I taught my Young Women Lesson, and everyone said it was good, so I guess it was good. I did more if my online class (yahoo), babysit my super cute fun niece, Jordan, and I lounged around when I could to basically recover from the past week. Haha it was crazy but fun.

This week to come: my uncle Mitch passed away so my parents went to the funeral, but I have LOTS of work Monday so I couldn't go.

I am still LOVIN' work. People have told me that it would die within a few months of beginning but I guess I really do love work cause my feelings haven't changed towards working a lot. Haha I know it's silly but I like the rush when everyone comes in at once and all want something, it makes me feel productive and it keeps my mind off other things. I love it when people ask me for help or let me help them pick out outfits. I LOVE creating something new for each girl. ok... call me weird, I don't care.

Also coming up this week is CAMP KICK-OFF!! Yupp, I'm going to girls camp this year! I haven't told a lot of people but now it's out of the bag so I am going to camp as a leader! Yupp, Sister Morris will be my name and I will be bunking with the leaders, taking LOTS of pictures and helping with the 2nd levels!! I'm excited, little nervous but excited!!

Sunday School Pizza Pool Party on Thursday!! I'm excited because I just got a REALLY bute swim suit :) (prepping for Hawaii this summer).

And I maybe watching my cute niece again this weekend in-between work!!

It shall be a crazy fun week!! I can't wait until school is out so I can a little more social fun, more time with my sis before she leaves, and of course more time in the SUN!!! Lol I'm determined to get my beautiful tan back that I miss so SO much.

Well, I guess that is it for me, I better get some sleep; work at 5 am!!!

Wish me luck this week!! Love ya'all!! ;)

5 1/2 Weeks

Only 5 weeks and 4 days till graduation... crazyness.

I'm just gearing up for all the stress coming... my boss loaded me with hours (that's a good thing!!) and my teachers are preparing us for finals coming up.. AND I'm finishing up my online class. Yay!

Oh, speaking of which, I better work on it now...

Oh!! Before I forget; I posted on Facebook for everyone that asked me to my video from the ASL Talent Show. Turned out to be pretty good even though I didn't feel extremely prepared for it.. Haha well, I hope you watch it and enjoy!! :D

What a week...

WOW!!! Can I sleep yet? lol

It's been a crazy fun and super busy week this week!!

Monday; I donated my blood and basically slept the rest of the day..

Tuesday; I went to the Jazz Concert at the MAC and it was SOO good!!

Wednesday; I had a LONG dress rehearsal and then I babysat for my brother and his friend!!

Thursday; I volunteered and performed in Mountain View ASL Club Talent Show and made Oreo balls that probably didn't turn out so delightful...

Friday; I plan on helping my brother pack, then I am babysitting my OTHER brother's little girl over night... SOO exciting!!

Saturday; I have work then I plan on continuing to help my brother move then I will see the Easter Pageant at the Mesa Temple!!

Sunday; Breathe?!

Boy oh boy.... when does it end?! May? Lol Just kidding. Anywho, I had such a fun night.. I love the Deaf students at MVT. They are so fun and full of enthusiasm. Thanks to everyone who came!! I'll see if I can post my song on Facebook soon :)

Much love!

Sudsing

Tonight was the night I experienced my first sudsing...

I was forced in the back of pick up truck with 2 other girls in my ward then off Sister Kempton drove. We drove all the way down to a car wash.. and yes as you can guess... we went through the car wash with me and two other girls in the bed of the truck and 3 girls inside having the best entertainment known to man (well, women).

I am now dripping wet and cold..

I'm taking a hot shower and cuddling up in my bed with a book.

Scariest thing of my life.. but kind of fun! :)

Goodnight ya'll ;)

Work, work, work!!

Good day at work. And had a interesting conversation with one of my managers about religion. Plus we got so much done... Good day at work :)

All I Need Are the Words..

I don't know what to say really other than I am loving the piano and all the happiness it has been bringing into my life. I am working on a spiritual song..and when I say working on it I mean I'm working on the words... the first time I've added words to my music and it scares me; I wrote the music like 2 weeks ago and am still trying to write the words... it's kind of frustrating but I know I will come up with something :)

I've always had a hard time expressing myself in words, it bugs people, but I'm trying to figure out how to express myself in words instead of... I shouldn't say instead of but also with my actions.

Remember That One Time?

Oh hai.

I just want to tell you about a funny time I had with my sister like two weeks ago, who will remain nameless. One night she and I had planned a "sister sleepover" that consisted of shopping...and we didn't know what else. Duh. That's what happens when you live together for like 18 years and you've done everything known to man.

Well, SHE was randomly craving Arby's.

tip: don't get in her way when she's craving arby's.

It was 2 minutes till closing.

We went anyway.

It was an adventure, after all.

The lady at the drive through thought we were crazy, mostly because I was dancing to Justin Beaver (omg. Did I just write that?) annoying my sister, and being totally immature. In fact, the lady closed AND LOCKED her window while she got our order together. I practically downed the curly fries before we even got home. My sister was kinda bummed, because that's what she wanted the most. I let her have the

Once we got home, we watched The Grinch, because we do things like that in the middle of March. In fact, we could practically quote it for you right now.

We also discovered our favorite part.

Oh, did I mention that we were sitting on the floor...RIGHT in FRONT of the TV while eating our Arby's. We felt like kids again. Oh, but it didn't end there. You see, we had to quote the movie and laugh our fanny's off at the funniest of lines from the movie while we fell asleep.

Now, she's spending the weekend with us for Conference.

I totally called dibs sleeping with her.

Cause' we're like that.

There is No Telling

So I've spent time giving different advice to different people and all I can say... I didn't know I had it in me. They ask me questions that I myself can hardly answer then all of a sudden my mouth opens and I start saying stuff... then they tell me thanks and that it helps and it surprises me!! Haha Beats me... but I kind of like it :)

It makes me feel like I don't use my brain all the other times... haha that's not good.

My favorite part is when I see progress not in just them but their countenance, and shown in their eyes :)

ET

I don't know why but I'm really loving this song... I'm not so crazy about the rap part where Kanye West ruins it . But it's a great song other wise... <3

ET- Katy Perry ft. Kanye West

I'm still loving Katy Perry!! Beat that Gaga...

Do I make a good Katy Perry alien??!!

Hooked

Dear Reading,

Oh how I've missed thee. If only your were an excuse good enough for teachers to give me an extra day to finish homework... then maybe we could spend more time together. But I loved being with you today for the time that we had. I will never forget you and am defiantly looking forward to seeing you again soon. Maybe tomorrow? OK sounds delightful. Thank you for using up all my time with your beautiful words and captivating plot. I'm going to miss you during these next few hours...

Love Yours Truly,

Me ;)

Speechless..

It's amazing to me how someone can say something that doesn't really have a lot of meaning behind it and totally hit home for me.

It's amazing what the Spirit can do for some people.. inspiring them to say or do something that could benefit someone and they may never know it.

It's amazing what has been done for people... and the lives that have been changed because of a simple phrase in a song or a thought from someone random.

It's amazing to me that I can take it all in at once.

"A whisper is only as quiet as we let it be" - me

Such a Good Day :)